Tuesday, June 18, 2024

How to tell your folks you are not coming home yet?

No matter how old you are, there is always something hard to tell your parents. Sometimes we fail to recognize how our parents might feel regarding a particular situation. If you are one of those who get anxiety and stomach churn while talking to your parents, this might help you:

Be confident with your decision

Reconsider your decision if you feel dicey about the whole situation. There’s no point thinking again and again regarding the same conclusion. So, if you are not sure about your decision, you are more likely to make irrelevant excuses, and you might even later regret your decision. Of Course, it’s going to hurt not having your family around. Therefore if you think you are confident about your decision, give yourself time to process and think if that’s right for you? If your answer is yes, then go for it; it’s going to be okay. 

source = yandex

Talk with your parents as soon as possible

Anyone in the world can tell you that you need to tell them in advance about your decision. Here you feel scared, and they have made plans for what they will do when you come back? How will they celebrate? How will they surprise you?. If you delay more, they might get hurt. Whatever might be the reason, the soon you will talk, the better it is for you and them. It would be best if you had a proper conversation Asap.

Don’t Bluff and be honest

When talking to parents, some people feel they don’t need to know everything but let me tell you, it is. So instead of twisting and talking in circles, go and tell them straightforward everything. 

For example, Starting with” I was thinking of coming home, but due to these so and so circumstances, I’m not able to find a way.” That’s all. Well! Not really, you might have to explain your reasons and answer their questions patiently. Explain to them why it’s good for you not to come home right now, why you are more comfortable this way. They will understand, don’t make assumptions on your own.

Allow them to sink in information

Give them space, understand that they might feel upset about your decision, and it’s completely alright. You need to give time to process and share feelings. Don’t just ignore their emotions; understand their point of view and try to make them understand. However, not coming home for whatever reason doesn’t make you a horrible person, so don’t overstrain yourself with their talks and what they say. You don’t need to take unjustified criticism when you are only thinking about your peace and comfort. So, Validate your and their feelings. 

Choose a wise method to communicate with them

You can’t just text your mom, ” Hey, mom, I’m not coming home yet” no, that’s not the way; a text is not the solution. You need to call them not just your mom but dad and family if you are close to everyone. Call and have a proper conversation regarding your problem, why you are not coming, and hear them. 

However, if you have a family group and there’s already a discussion going on regarding who is going to come home and who is not, then hop on and tell your decision and if they are planning things for you in the group, then it becomes even more important for you to inform them right away.

Although, if you not coming home is a big deal for them, then you need to have a proper video call or zoom call with them to tell them face to face; they might be disappointed but calm them down, make them understand that you are going to make it up to them.

Be polite and clear

Well! I don’t need to tell you; you can’t swear. In panic and frustration, we often tend to use words that we shouldn’t and regret later. So, it’s better to be careful; you wouldn’t want to hurt them. 

There’s a difference between “I don’t want to come” and “I am not coming back.” You don’t want to come sounds rude. So, start politely to make sure they don’t get hurt. Show them you are taking responsibility for your decision, and it’s due to some valid reason and not out of fun or influence. Tell them you love them, you are not sure right now, but you will try harder next time.

 If your parents are disappointed and say something to you, understand their emotions; don’t go all over them like they are not understanding and overreacting. No, don’t make matters worse; blaming everything on them or your boss, friends, or whatever situation. Take responsibility for your thoughts and decisions. 

Be ready to take an emotional approach but don’t reciprocate 

It’s natural for your parents to be upset and disappointed after hearing this from you. They might emotionally blackmail you with things, but you don’t need to react impulsively. Nobody is responsible for how someone else takes that situation or reacts. So, don’t take it personally, they are just upset they might say something now, but they will come around. Just be clear with your decision and whatever reasons you have, and you’ll be okay. So Don’t react badly and accept their emotions. 

Suggest alternatives

Of Course, if they are feeling bad and you are too. You cannot spend time with your family; it’s upsetting for you and them. Suggest alternatives for them to make it up. We have made a list of alternatives that you can consider to make them happy, and I would say both you and them will be at peace: 

FaceTime: Arrange a fun-filled facetime or zoom call with the entire family, play games spend amazing time virtually.

Online games: organize online party spree, set time, and play online games like ludo, chess, racing, etc.

Watch party: several apps allow different people to watch the same movie together online. So, arrange a virtual movie time.

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